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Writer's pictureLynda Price

Podcast #22: I've Got a Secret

Updated: Aug 28



We all have secrets. You have a special one to share--you have an invisible disability. So, when do you stop being invisible? Who needs to know? Why do they need to know it? This podcast will help you figure out what to do next.....



The Importance of Self-Disclosure

I want to start this Blog with a caveat and a personal story. Typically I spend a lot of time and energy sharing with you the collective wisdom of updated, multiple sources on a specific topic. However this time, I'm focusing primarily on my own work--and those of my valued colleagues--over the past 35 years. I was originally turned on to this topic back in the 1980s when I heard Dr. Paul Gerber give a keynote speech on adults with learning disabilities. At that point, nobody ever thought about what happens to kids with LD when they grow up, so this was revolutionary stuff to me.

One of the things I learned from Dr. Gerber right away is that self-disclosure can be the key to unlock a satisfying quality of life for people with invisible disabilities like LD (Gerber & Price, 2011; Price, 2000; Gerber & Price, 2008; Gerber, Price, Mulligan, & Williams, 2005). Ultimately, all folks with LD will have to confront the obstacle of telling someone else about their disability.

It's truly the elephant in the living room; self-disclosure of such sensitive information was NEVER discussed or even thought about for over three decades. Instead, the primary focus of Special Education in those days was getting students with disabilities just to graduate from high school and complete IEP goals. What came after that was really up to the family or the individuals themselves to figure out. Unfortunately very few people, if any, knew what to do next or how to go about it. That became a focus of my research, especially after collaborating with Dr. Gerber for many years. I wanted to learn as much as I could about self-disclosure and invisible disabilities. Of even more importance, I wanted to figure out how to teach others how to do it. So, here's my take on Self-Disclosure--and how it can change your life.



Definition

The American Psychological Association (2023) defines self disclosure as: "The act of revealing personal/private information about one’s self to other people". Sounds so simple, doesn't it? We all self disclose personal information every day, from wearing a tattoo to giving out personal financial information for a new credit card. Especially in this age of constant social media, many people crave more and more self disclosure. For instance if you're a Swiftie, I'm sure you know that Taylor Swift has 3 cats named Meredith Grey, Olivia Benson, and Benjamin Button; who all have distinct personalities. Or, maybe you love the latest skin care brand or kale recipe on Tiktok. It seems that in the 21st Century, there is nothing too personal or too intimate to self disclose. And it doesn't usually doesn't matter who gets that information.

However, self disclosure can also be a two-edged sword. Taking care of yourself has taken on a new meaning in this age of instant information. Just ask folks who have been cyber-bullied or had their identity stolen. This can be a critical concern if you have an invisible disability. For instance, maybe you need extra time for exams in college. When you go to the Disability Office, they advocate for you with the professor and you get extended time for your final. You are then able to get extra time for exams in other classes as well.

On the other hand, you may need the exact same thing to finish an important project at work. But, you may run into a completely different set of obstacles. As the folks from Boston University (2023) explain, "Telling your employer your diagnosis is the only way to protect your legal right to any accommodations you might need to get or keep a job. However, revealing your disability may subject you to discrimination which could limit your opportunities for employment and advancement." Adults with LD have repeatedly told me that the employer response to their self-disclosure can range from suprised ignorance to later being fired for poor performance. Each situation seems to be unique--and no two employers seem to respond in the same way. You may be rolling the dice whenever you self-disclose, despite your legislative safety-net. So, always be prepared to face the consequences. And--use the Tips below!



Backstory: Your Legislative Safety-Net

In the United States*, the whole process of getting support for your disabilities, either visible or invisible, relys on the Americans with Disabilities Act. Burry (2022) summarized the complexities of the ADA nicely by saying: "The 1990 Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) does two important things . . . First, the law makes it illegal for employers to discriminate against qualified job applicants or employees with either mental or physical disabilities. Second, the ADA requires employers to make reasonable accommodations for employees or candidates with disabilities". Sounds relatively straight-forward, right? Wrong! These simple statements have loop-holes, including one important caveat also stressed by Burry: "Legally, the ADA does not require candidates to disclose a disability to employers or potential employers. If you do not disclose, however, employers correspondingly will not have to make accommodations." Let me emphasize again what Burry clearly says--the burden is on you to start the process. If you don't disclose to your employer, you are NOT legally entitled to any accommdations. The choice is yours about when and why to self disclose.

So, let's say you do decide to talk to your employer. What is your employer--or potential employer--mandated to provide to you? The answer to this question may vary widely. For instance, will you need support during the application or interview process? This is a critical question, as most applications are now online with strict algorithms to quickly vet material. Also, many interviews take place online instead of face-to-face, so you may have only one shot to make a great impression in an impersonal Zoom meeting.

On the other hand, what if you're fine getting the job, it's keeping the job that's the problem? You're already in the door, but now you need specific accommodations to stay there. Or, maybe you've done well at your job for years and want to be finally promoted. In this case, you may be self disclosing for the first time to go up the next rung of your career ladder. The point is: you can choose to self-disclose at any time or in any situation (e.g., before or during the job interview, before the actual job offer, after the job offer, or when you start working.) It's totally up to you.

As you can see, suddenly there are multiple ways to approach the actual self-disclosure process. For starters, you should always be careful about whom you self-disclose to. For instance, should you self-disclose on your resume or job application? The jury is out on this one, but many experts say no. Others say yes, so it's really up to you (Boston University, 2023; Engel, 2023; U. S. Department of Labor, 2024).

In addition, once you get past the interview stage, a whole new set of options quickly emerge. For instance, who exactly should you talk to? This should definitely be on a "need to know basis". If you're already employed, it should be your immediate supervisor, manager, or Human Resources Counselor (Learning Disabilities Association, 2024), not necessarily to your peers or co-workers. You must also think about where or when to have this conversation. As the folks from the U. S. Department of Labor (2024) explain: "There is no one 'right' time or place to disclose your disability. Select a confidential place in which to disclose, and allow enough time for the person to ask questions."

The next hurdle is what do you talk about? It helps to stop and think very carefully about what you want to say. For instance, don't go into great detail or use complicated terms to discuss the limitations of your disability. Instead, define it as simply and accurately as possible. Think about your strengths and what you bring to the job. You should also describe the "essential functions" (e.g., a simple summary) of what you do, along with suggestions for necessary accommodations for key tasks (i.e., check lists, color-coded calendar, written instructions, flexible schedule, additional breaks, task flow chart, reading pen, text reader, form-generating software, etc.). A wonderful resource to spark your thinking is the Job Opportunity Network (JAN). They have an amazing list of specific accommodations, case studies, and easy-to-understand summaries for all types of visible and invisible disabilities. For instance, here's their material about learning disabilities:


Here's a simple example to get you started. "My name is Missy and I work as an Adoption Counselor for the local Humane Society. I have a learning disability. I'm smart, but have an auditory processing problem. That means my hearing is fine, but sometimes I don't understand or remember exactly what I hear, especially in loud, busy environments.

Right now, I'm working with potential adopters, maintaining client records, and taking care of the animals. I'm a real Team worker. I'm compassionate and professional with clients, especially those in stressful or difficult situations. The Shelter is pretty noisy and chaotic every day. Plus, there's a constant turn- over of people and adoptees, so it's easy for me to get confused or forget important details about each case. I would like to use Dragon App, a mobile app on my phone to dictate notes about each situation. Afterwards, I'll review this information and clarify everything to make sure I'm organized and accurate before I put it into the computer. It costs $14.99 a month and I'll be glad to pay for it myself. What do you think?"

This script sets Missy up be a successful proactive, advocate. She's driving her bus. It also creates a partnership with her supervisor to collaborate and problem-solve together. If there is a dispute with this request, Missy has other options. She could start documenting her situation and then decide if it's worth the risk to pursue matters further. If her supervisor agrees, it's a win/win for everyone. If not, she has the tools to think about what to do next.

Remember, the majority of the information so far about self-disclosure applies to the workplace. Moreover, there are other legal considerations for accommodations in higher education. In this situation, the ADA can still be a powerful tool, as Title II applies to all colleges and universities. However, in my experience, the real driving force in most colleges is Section 504 of the Vocational Rehabilitation Act of 1973. It should also be noted that while the ADA covers employment, telecommunications, and other public services, it does not cover you if you choose to self-disclose at home. Also, it is often still unclear how the law applies specifically in local community settings. Scenario B gives you an idea of how that could work for folks with invisible disabilities.

We've briefly looked at the issues and situations that could drive you to use your legislative safetynet. On the other hand, we should also talk about the benefits to do so. This is equally important, as there are many ways that self-disclosure can shape your life in positive, significant ways. As the Partners Resource Network (2024) says, "[Self-disclosure] allows you to receive reasonable accommodations so that you can pursue work, school, or community activities more effectively. It provides legal protection against discrimination (as specified in the Americans with Disabilities Act). It reduces stress, since protecting a “secret” can take a lot of energy." Appropriate self-disclosure has other personal benefits as well, as it promotes closeness, trust, understanding and cooperation. This can be a huge advantage at work, home, or school. Is the risk worth it? Only you can decide.






*Please Note: As I said in Podcast #13, my familiarity with disability laws and the legal process is based on my work in America. I've tried to describe in depth the self-disclosure process, along with disability-related laws for people with both visible--and invisible--disabilties in my own country. It's important to keep in mind that this description may be very different, or similar, to where you live. If you are in other countries, you can google more info by using the phrase "support for disabilities in _______". You can also ask folks in your local school system or federal Ministry of Education to uncover your necessary resources. (Your Ministry of Education may be especially helpful, as they are responsible for educational policy, programs, teacher certification, vocational education/job training, higher education and all disability-related education.) Given my limited knowledge, I can't presume to tell you exactly what you will uncover. However, please share whatever you find out with me at pricela33@gmail.com. I want to pass it along!


Scenarios about Self-Disclosure


Scenario A

Jeff is a bright, friendly guy who has been a UPS driver for about 3 years. He loves his job because he is busy all day. Once he picks up his packages and gets his route he is totally on his own. He easily can work 8 hours or more with overtime and good benefits. He takes breaks whenever he wants and no one is there to look over his shoulder or tell him what to do. However, all of that changed one day when the technology went down. UPS drivers use a system called ORION that calculates delivery routes. It clearly shows exactly where to go to deliver each package and how to get there. Also, scanning the bar codes gives Jeff all of the information that he needs to do his job. Using this system allowed Jeff to be known as an efficient, very reliable driver.

However, a few weeks ago, Jeff was on a new route when ORION suddenly shut down. As he could make up to 135 deliveries a day, this meant total chaos. Jeff tried using GoogleMaps to figure out where to go on his own, but he kept getting turned around or lost. It quickly became a nightmare. Because of his LD (i.e., reading, spatial and organizational problems), Jeff couldn't read the information on the packages or follow directions to his next stop. When ORION was finally restored, Jeff was a mess. He was so rattled that he returned back to base with most of his packages undelivered. He then called in sick for two days and was promptly fired when he went back to work. Now, Jeff is frustrated and scared. He has no savings and bills to pay. What's he going to do? Not only did he lose a job he really enjoyed, but he's in a tight job market with no job recommendations. Maybe, he should have told them about his invisible disability in the first place.



Scenario B

Juan and Elena fight all of the time, even though they've known each forever. They dated throughout high school, broke up twice, and then got back together and finally got married three years ago. They really do love each other, despite all of the insanity in their lives. For instance, Elena lost their first child and is now pregnant with twins. Juan was always by her side. Juan loves motorcycles and rode with a local Club for many years. Elena, however, can't stand bikes after his last accident. Juan was hit broadside by a car while driving without a helmet. She was so worried because, even when he regained consciousness, he still seemed spacey and forgetful, irritable, and angry all of the time. He had continual problems communicating with her, his family, and friends. He even lost his sales job because he mouthed off to boss. His mother pushed him to go back to school and he's now studying at the local community college to be a motorcycle mechanic and maybe get an AA degree in Business.

All those goals are great, but things at home just keep getting worse and worse. For instance, Elena has tried to be patient with him, despite a difficult pregnancy. She'd been ordered on bedrest by her physician to avoid another miscarriage, so she's really dependant on Juan. That includes everything from driving to doctor's appointments to buying groceries and cleaning house. Juan tries as hard as he can while juggling school and time with his buddies. But most of the time, his mind seems somewhere else. She just gets so frustrated with him--because he doesn't seem to listen! For example, the other day, she asked him 3 times to go to the store to get some milk, bread, and salami. He can back with a six-pack of beer, two frozen pizzas, and some donuts. Another time, she asked him to go upstairs to get her hairbrush and a novel. He got sidetracked watching TV and brought her back her cell phone 20 minutes later. If this keeps up, Elena is seriously contemplating moving in with her sister and getting a divorce. She can't deal with Juan's craziness and two babies as well!

Tips and Tricks:


Tip #1: YOU Control the Narrative

If there's one thing that adults with invisible disabilities have told me over the years, it's that YOU need to drive the bus. Often, when folks with LD or dyslexia finally get up the courage to talk with someone else about their disability, they are worried and scared. This seems especially true if that someone in authority will have a direct impact on your life (i.e., employers, faculty members, spouse, supervisors, family members, etc.). It's easy to imagine all kinds of outcomes; some pretty negative. What will they say? What will you say? What happens next? Will you get support--or a backlash from self-disclosing?

A way to reassure yourself and tip the scales in your favor is to be as proactive as possible. Instead of just blurting out your secret and reacting right away to everything the person says, try controling at least part of the narrative. One effective way to do that is to write your own script first. Then, practice what you will say and do with someone else. Here's a few things to keep in mind.

First, figure out the goal of this conversation. What exactly do you want? This is critical, so you can be as specific as possible. For instance, do you need to take your final in a distraction-free room? Are you requesting written as well as verbal instructions about a new work project? (This can be critical, as written plus verbal instructions compensate for auditory memory issues or short attention span.) Could you use a short break between Zoom meetings or phone calls to re-focus your attention if you have ADHD? Think carefully about what you need and then plan specifically how to explain this to others.

Second, remember that you cannot be bullied here--you are making a legimate request that is based on both Federal and State laws. Think of this as a battle you've already won; you just need to negotiate the terms. Part of this process is to check out how much the person already knows about invisible disabilities; especially yours. In my experience, many people know little or nothing about LD, ADD, or dyslexia. For instance, one adult explained: "Not for the first time and not for the last time in my life, I find myself staring down the barrel of the gun of ignorance of dyslexia. When I was a child at school in the 1960's, dyslexia was called by another name. It was called stupidity" (The Barnet Eye, 2014). If this is true for you as well, you may have to educate whomever you talk to first as part of your request. (See Tip #2 for more information.)

For instance, if you need accommodations in college, you could start the conversation with your teacher by defining the problem ("I'm having trouble following along in lectures and taking notes in your class"). Next, ask if they know that you have _______ (i.e., LD, dyslexia, or ADHD). If they don't, briefly explain what your disability is and how it effects your everyday life ("I have dyslexia which can make reading or writing a problem for me. Usually I'm OK, but it's hard for me sometimes to read the whiteboard or follow what you're saying if you talk quickly in class or answer questions").

After that, suggest a solution that you could work on together ("Susie sits next to me and has volunteered to take notes for me. The University Disability Office will pay her, but I wanted to check with you first.") If your professor says "Fine", you're home free. If not, immediately refer them to the Disability Office. Either way, you've started the ball rolling to get what you need, plus you've controlled the narrative to avoid a negative outcome or nasty conversation. This process is outlined in greater detail in the Disability Disclosure materials in this Blog. These suggestions can be effective whether you self-disclose at work, at school, at home or in the community. Just make sure you always do your homework first and follow these three important steps:


  • Define the Problem

  • Self-disclose your disability

  • Suggest a solution

Jeff's melt-down as a UPS driver in Scenario A illustrates this process well. Jeff fell apart when the technology went down and was devastated when he was fired from his job. It took him a few days, and a lot soul-searching plus support from his girlfriend, to figure what to do next. He realized, once he got over his anger and resentment, that he really liked working for UPS and wanted to go back. He really didn't want to start looking for a new job. Jeff clearly needed a plan. So he got online and found the UPS Policy on Disabilities (UPS, 2024) which stated: "At UPS we follow the golden rule – treat others as you expect to be treated. . . UPS policy prohibits discrimination against any qualified employee or job applicant with a disability or any covered veteran or disabled veteran in regard to job application procedures, hiring, advancement, discipline, discharge, compensation and other terms and conditions of employment." That seemed encouraging, so Jeff followed the 3 steps above to get his job back.

First, he defined the problem. He was a well-respected, valued employee who had received great performance evaluations before ORION went down. He often worked extra shifts or came in at the last minute to replace other drivers because he was so committed to his job. He had one bad experience with the glitch in technology, but knew how he could compensate for that if it ever happened again. He just wanted the chance to prove it to his employers.

Second, Jeff finally admitted that he had learning disabilities. Because they are invisible disabilities, his supervisor and peers never suspected. Plus, he wanted to do as great a job as he could without asking for help. Jeff literally wrote down this statement, which he practiced over and over: "I have learning disabilities which means sometimes I have problems reading or following complex directions. But, I'm very bright and can usually figure things out for myself. I'm adaptable and flexible and, up to now, did a great job until the technology went down."

Third, he came up with a reasonable solution that could work for both him and his employer. Jeff role-played this script with his girlfriend: "I've proven for 3 years that I'm successful and reliable at the essential functions of my job. The current technology is all the accommodations I need. My one request is if it goes down again. I just need temporary support so I won't disrupt anyone else's job. For instance, maybe that day I ride to assist another driver. Or, I can help out in the warehouse until ORION is up and running again. I'm telling you from personal experience--everyone, not just me with my dyslexia--had a terrible time coping. Having a extra pair of hands might benefit all of us if that happens again. This way the company won't lose any money or employee time. In your Policy on Disabilities, you say you follow the golden rule and treat others as you would want to be treated. If you were in my shoes, wouldn't you want the same assistance?"

Just to be safe, Jeff took his old supervisor Alan out for coffee and discussed his plan. Alan wanted him back asap because one driver quit over the weekend and another had Covid. He quickly agreed that Jeff was on the right track. So, Jeff called the UPS Human Resources Office to set up an appointment. When he went in, he stuck to his script and waited while the Counselor called Alan. After that call, Jeff got his job back for a probationary period of 6 weeks. Things went really well and Jeff is back full time. With Alan's recommendation, he even applied to a special program to help train new drivers. Jeff will never, ever broadcast his LD at work, but he sure is happy that he took that first step to self-disclose. If you need more ideas about discussing your invisible disability at work, see below.



Tip #2: Your Evacuation Plan--Always Plan Ahead !

To me, self-disclosure is just like preparing for a hurricane--or a blizzard, pandemic, or other crossroads in your life. You never think it will happen to you, but you better be prepared when it does! I can guarantee it always comes up unexpectedly and can change everything. For instance, maybe you've received accommodations for your LD or dyslexia in public school. If so, someone else always took the responsibility and you just did what you were told. Or, perhaps you've never received support before, as your disability was invisible to others. You've consistently done well on your own. In this case, why tell anyone now? Either way, it may seem that there's no reason to think about self-disclosure. Why bother?

But, this is where it can get tricky. It's still important to at least make a simple plan, in case you ever need it. I can't tell you how many adults have told me that they were going along just fine at home or work or in school. Then, as one student explained, "I hit a wall". Unlike the consistent environment of childhood, adult life is constantly changing. What was comfortable one minute can become crazy and uncomfortable the next. That's why you should always have some type of game plan in case you ever do need support.

For instance, what if your company is sold and you're "down-sized"? What if your job significantly changes? What if you suddenly find yourself struggling to pass the GRE to get into grad school ? What if you're dropped from coaching your son's football team because you keep getting the plays confused or can't follow what others are saying? Any of these situations, and many more, will all be challenges that you may not be able to face alone. They can easily make you fall apart when you've been so successful before.

That's why you need a plan. It's like life insurance--you hope you'll never need it, but you're awfully glad when you got it. This also raises a quandary that you will live with throughout your life as an independent adult. You'll find yourself asking these questions: Do I to tell someone? and What do I need? While these may seem simple questions, they can often come with very complicated answers. In my experience, it really depends on three factors:

  • Who you're telling about your hidden disability

  • What you're going to say

  • Why you're doing it in the first place


As you've already seen in the previous information, usually there are specific, traditional guidelines about how, where, and when to self-disclose at work or at school under Section 504 or the ADA (Engel, 2023; Job Opportunity Network, 2024; Ohio State University, 2024). The key here is timing plus your judgement in a particular situation (e.g., you need support for one college class but not another; what to do when you're fired; losing a promotion after many years as an employee; etc.). Many folks find the legal guidelines at least a place to start.

However, what if you need to self-disclose at home or in the community? These everyday settings may--or may not--be covered by Section 504 or ADA. For instance, you probably won't give your husband paperwork about your LD diagnosis or explore essential job functions if you're singing in the church choir. Such experiences can be really frustrating, because you need accommodations just as much as being at work or school. But how you approach these situations is often a whole different ball game. There's clearly no rule book here, so you're definitely on your own.

Juan and Elena's situation, as seen in Scenario B, underscores this dilemma well. Juan clearly has an invisible disability that is strongly affecting his life, at home, school, and work. Not to mention the fact, that he is driving his wife crazy--and maybe even jeopardizing his marriage in the process. Juan was never very good in school and always had trouble reading, writing, and paying attention. He was diagnosed with learning disabilities and ADHD in middle school, but rarely received any help.

Juan thought he had a great life, but things seemed to significantly get worse after his accident. While he was in the hospital, Dr. Owens their family doctor, told Juan and Elena that he had sustained Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) which would need lots of further attention and support. Juan went to Rehab for a while and then got bored and gave up. He kept telling everyone that "he was all right" and to "just leave him alone". But, after he was fired from his job, his moodiness, anger, and frustration increased. Drinking heavily with his buddies didn't help. Even school became a problem. Juan really enjoyed his classes and looked forward to a job as a motorcycle mechanic. But, why study when you're restless and always confused or can't follow the lectures?

All of this came to a head when a sympathic professor referred him to the Disability Office. Juan really, really didn't want to go, but the teacher warned him that he could lose his scholarship due to poor attendance and bad grades. So Juan stomped into the Office in all black, with his spikes, chains and tattoos, and scared the Secretary to death. She sent him back to Carol, one of the Disability Counselors. Juan was surprised, because he and Carol got along great. They worked on a plan together to help him with his writing and spelling issues. Carol really stressed that he needed lots of support for his auditory attention and memory. Juan had never thought any of this was a problem. He was amazed at how much Carol's suggestions helped him in school.

One day, he shyly confessed to Carol about his problems at home. Carol smiled and said, "You know Juan, I'm not a marriage counselor. But I may have some ideas to help you." Carol explained the first complaint that therapists hear is communication. While many spouses complain about this from time to time, Juan's disability could definitely play a role here. For instance, Elena might feel that Juan never listens to her. That may be partially true, but it also may not be Juan's fault entirely. His LD and ADHD, especially his auditory attention and memory issues, would not only cause problems in school, but could be an issue at home as well. His invisible disabilities might effect understanding and remembering exactly what he hears, no matter what the setting.  

Carol and Juan came up with a simple plan that used the Three Factors listed above. First, he spent some time thinking about how to broach his LD with Elena. Second, he practiced with Carol how to define the problem. Third, he suggested a solution. He decided to get Elena out of the house where she'd been confined to her bedroom and take her to her favorite restaurant. It was time to spoil her a little and get honest about his disability. Here's what he told her after a wonderful dinner:


"You know honey, I've always had trouble at school due to my learning

disability. It's how my brain works--I just don't remember what I hear.

Like in school. Lectures are lousy for me and I can't pay attention when the professor's talking. The same thing is true at home. I love you like crazy,

but that's why I don't hear you when you talk to me. My hearing is fine, I

just can't listen. I know that's frustrating, so why don't you write things

down for me after you say them? I know it seems silly, but it really helps!

Even if it's a small thing like going to the store or really important stuff like

talking about the bills, that makes my brain work better. Can we try that?"


Elena was thrilled to get out of the house and know that Juan was concerned about her feelings. She quickly asked to see Carol to understand all of this better. When the three of them met, Carol explained everything in more detail She even gave Elena a small notebook to use at home. She also asked Elena to keep her requests simple at first, with no more than one or two actions at a time. Juan and Elena tried these tips, even though they seemed silly at first.

Everything worked so well, that they requested more hints from Carol. She then asked them to go back to Dr. Owens for a follow-up on Juan's TBI. Further testing revealed that Juan needed more assistance, so he returned to Rehab and also met with a therapist to work on his anxiety, moodiness, anger, and depression. Everyone collaborated with Carol, who continued to urge Juan to write everything down, take breaks when he needed them, avoid distractions, and focus on one task at a time. She also encouraged Elena to join an online support group for families of individuals with TBI. Juan graduated from his program and went to work right away for a buddy with a bike repair business. Carol was invited to the baby shower before the twins were born and checked in with Juan a year later. His family was thriving; plus an uncle had left him some money to invest in his own shop. Juan still rides--but always with a helmet. If Elena and Juan's story sounds like your family, think about making a plan to discuss your invisible disability at home or with friends. It can make a real difference in all of your relationships.


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