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Podcast #29: What Can You Give Back?

  • Writer: Lynda Price
    Lynda Price
  • Aug 25, 2024
  • 14 min read

Updated: 3 days ago




Are you in a rut? Bored and want to make a change in your life? Want to be around people who really accept your invisible disability? It's time to move forward and give something back to your community. Here's how to do it......



The Importance of Community Service


We've spent a lot of time in these podcasts and blogs zeroing in on you. That made sense as it was important to give you the most credible, up-to-date information about your invisible disability--both its challenges and its rewards. But, that's not the whole story. To fully understand living with LD, dyslexia, and ADHD, we need to pull back and broaden the focus. We need to see the bigger picture that involves the community around you.

That's true whether you live in New York City or rural Australia; you are directly connected and interact daily with a huge network. Think about all of the people around you--the bus driver who takes you to work, the neighbor who gets your mail when you travel, the teller at the bank who cashes your check, or the people on Facebook that you talk to everyday. All of these people and many more are your community, whether you know it or not. And all of these people shape your life in countless ways. Perhaps, John Donne in 1624 said it best: "No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main . . . any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee" (No Sweat Shakespeare, 2026). While most people are familiar with this quote, it has a deeper meaning for you if you have a hidden disability.

As someone with an often invisible disability, you may spend your whole life trying to be "normal" or to fit in with others. Sometimes you're successful and sometimes your not. But the bigger social, political, vocational, or financial connections outside of yourself are often your biggest challenges. So, if you really want to "fit in" as an adult, you need to look beyond yourself to the community around you. You need to understand that you are just not an "island", but part of a much bigger, vibrant, growing continent.



Definition and Benefits

If you want to move beyond your limited social circle, start by figuring out exactly who your "community" is. For instance, a community can be who you interact with in your daily life. This could be a group of people, a neighborhood, or someone you follow online. You are connected to these individuals because you share a common geography, interests, values, or life situations. But, whoever they are, they will give you a sense of belonging and/or support. If you're lucky enough to be part of such a group, it's time for you to pay back some of the kindness, help and strength that they've given you all these years.

The benefits for this payback are enormous. For instance, researchers have asserted such amazing physical benefits as: lower blood pressure, a healthier immune system, a longer lifespan and less overall stress(University of Alabama, 2024). In addition, a clinical psychologist says, “Giving back has been shown to boost happiness, reduce stress, enhance self-esteem and strengthen social connections. Engaging in acts of generosity activates the brain’s reward system, fostering positive emotions and a sense of purpose” (Lopez, 2023; University of Alabama, 2024). Multiple researchers have described this unique phenomena as a "Helpers High". Parker (2021) explains that: "As you help someone . . . your brain secretes 'feel good' chemicals such as: Serotonin (which regulates your mood); Dopamine (which gives you a sense of pleasure); [and] Oxytocin (which creates a sense of connection with others)." Now that's quite a cocktail! So, if you want something that doesn't cost a thing, is available in your own neighborhood, and is drug-free, read on.....



How Service Applies to Invisible Disabilities


I've wanted to do this podcast for a long time because there's one trend that I've seen over and over in my conversations with folks with LD, dyslexia, and ADHD: social isolation and loneliness (Gerber, Price, & Patton, 2006; Price, 2000; Price & Gerber, 2009; Price & Patton, 2008). It's interesting to note that what we observed has been echoed by other researchers around the world for over five decades (Broadbent, 2017; Childers, 2025; Gerber, 2025; Kwan, Gitimog-haddam, Collet, 2020; Musetti, Eboli, Cavallini, Corsano, 2019; Margalit, 1998; mencamp,2026; Northern Healthcare, 2026; Romanszkan, 2025). For example, scholars at Brown University (Siliezar, 2025) found that over 70% of American adults with disabilities* reported an ongoing sense of severe loneliness in their everyday lives. As Salinger (2025) explained, "This population may be predisposed to loneliness, since disability is the byproduct of social and structural barriers that restrict access to full societal participation." Other disturbing statistics from the United Kingdom support this concern. The professionals from Sense (2022) report that: "Almost two thirds (61%) of disabled people are now chronically lonely, rising to 7 in 10 (70%) of young disabled people . . . [In addition], over two thirds (70%) of disabled people say their mental health is affected by social isolation".

As these researchers clearly note, such severe isolation and loneliness will often have a major, negative impact on these adults' both physical and mental health. FINISH

Rees(2024) gives these numbers a human face when she says, "I’ve noticed that so often people with dyslexia sit on the periphery and feel more. Isolated.

They are lone wolves. They feel like don’t fit in. They feel like they can’t find their tribe. They find it difficult to maintain friendships. They people please in the hope of fitting in."

Lucky-Inevitable-146* echoes: "I’ve let go of a lot of friendships because most of the time I don’t know when I’ll function well, when I won’t function at all. I can’t really make plans in advance either . . . I find that people don’t really understand mental struggles we go through. Sometimes I also feel dumb when I’m around people. My brain stops working when I’m stimulated and mid- conversation I’ll look at them and have no idea what we’re talking about. Or I’ll say something, and then realize I have no idea what I’ve just said . . . it’s so embarrassing and it makes me not want to hang out with people outside my home. I also have ADHD, which is making things 10x harder" (reddit, 2025).

In fact, this phenemona is so wide-spread among folks with ADHD that it even has its own name: rejection sensitive dysphoria or RSD (Childers, 2025; Romanszkan, 2025). As Romanszkan explains, "If you have some symptoms of RSD, you may subconsciously try to avoid situations where rejection can happen — like meeting new people. That often leads to isolating yourself."

This is true for many other disabilities as well. For example, Rachel is an adult with Crohn’s disease* (Deaton, 2026). She disclosed that despite her invisible disability, she rarely told others the severity of her physical symptoms. As a result, this only exponentially increased her anxiety, loneliness, and isolation: “Every single day is different with a chronic illness and a disability that people can’t see. I find myself trying to downplay my symptoms because I feel guilty for canceling plans or missing work because they are so bad.” John*, who has a visual impairment summarizes this dichotomy for many adults with disabilities when he admits: “Having a disability can leave me feeling very isolated, like the world isn’t made for me and I am alien to it" (Deaton, 2026).

It should also be noted that such an on-going sense of isolation or loneliness

may not always be true for everyone who has a disability. Some folks are able to find their own community, who then can surround them with the love and support that they need. As mxster982 says, " . . . the friend group I have is determined to not let me isolate. Two of my cousins check in regularly, my mom freaks if I go even two days without texting or calling her, and even my dad will have a conniption if I don’t talk to him regularly. It’s weird bc at 36, I’ve never felt more accepted than I do now (reddit, 2025).

If you're in this group--bravo for you! If you're not, then it's time to move forward in your life to reach outside of the disability box that keeps you isolated and lonely. Either way, you'll soon find that community service, in any form, can change your life in healthy, positive ways. This blog is full of useful ideas to help you do just that.


*Caveat: Most of the research and information that I found about the connections between isolation and loneliness was about people with a variety of physical, sensory, and mental disabilities. There was much less on






SCENARIOS
SCENARIOS

There's all kinds of isolation that can go hand-in-hand with loneliness. For instance, there's geographic isolation; you can feel totally alone in the middle of a big city or completely by yourself way out in the middle of nowhere. There's social isolation where you choose--or don't choose--to be totally by yourself all of the time. There's internal isolation, where you're in your own head way too much and rarely open up to new ideas, people, places, or things. Your isolation may not be my isolation, but whatever it is--it will shape your life in countless ways, either for better or worse. These scenarios illustrate that well.



Scenario A


Emily is a widow living in up-state Vermont. She is trying her best to run a farm alone which has been in her family for over 100 years. Emily still sleeps in the same bedroom where she slept with her husband Sam for 35 years until he passed away two years ago from liver cancer. While she and Sam never had children, they adopted two kids and raised them on the farm. But, neither child liked rural living and moved away as soon as possible. Subsequently, their son David committed suicide after bouncing in and out of drug treatment and their daughter Alicia moved to France. She's never returned to visit America, but she sends her mother a nice box of chocolates every year. Emily also had two brothers and a sister, all who now have died. Her only relative left is her cousin George, who always helps her read all important papers and keep financial records about the business. This is really important, as Emily was diagnosed with learning disabilities in the third grade and still has major problems with reading, math, and organization.

Sam was Emily's lifeblood; he managed the farm and took care of Emily every way he could. But, times were tough keeping the farm going and Sam's medical bills kept mounting. He finally told her that they either had to sell the dairy business and most of the land or declare bankruptcy and move to town. As they both loved rural living so much, they sold everything but kept the house and enough land for a small apple farm. Life after Same can be tough. Even though Emily still has lots of trouble reading and writing, she loves working with her hands and fixing things. She pretty good at taking care of herself, as she grew up on the farm and knows how to be independent. But, now that Sam is gone, it's the isolation and loneliness that is getting to her.

She is just so tired all of the time and overwhelmed trying to support herself, run the farm, and take care of her high blood pressure. For instance, going anyplace just to get groceries or supplies is often a twenty mile trip or more. Winter comes early in Vermont; she can easily be house-bound. If the driveway isn't continually plowed or the local road is snowed in during the Winter or flooded in the Spring, it's almost impossible to go to church in town or be able to visit her friends.

Also, Emily really misses Sam and finds herself being angry and bitter. She is continually brooding that so little health care was available to keep him alive with her. For instance, Sam had a great oncologist, but he closed his practice and retired to California. It took almost a year to find a new doctor. Meanwhile, Sam's cancer got worse and worse. When they were finally able to get him in for radiation, their local hospital closed and they had to drive two hours one way just to get him treatment. In addition, there was little hope of a transplant or cutting-edge medical care, so Sam just slowly and painfully wasted away.

Emily's roots are deep and she loves where she has lived all of her life. But, she spends a lot of time during the long winter nights wondering if all this is still worth it. Farming now barely pays the bills and she hates being so isolated and alone all of the time. She gets so depressed wondering what's going to happen next. Is there a future for a widow living by herself at the end of the earth?



Scenario B


James has always hated the word dyslexia. His mother, Jessica was a Special Education teacher at the local middle school and was continually talking about her students. As a single parent, she monitored everything he did. So when he started having reading problems in the Second Grade, she immediately referred him for an evaluation. James never forgot all of the testing he had to go through. Although he never received a final diagnosis for dyslexia, his mom pulled some strings so that he could receive weekly tutoring for reading and writing throughout grade school and middle school.

James hated every minute of the tutoring. He was always embarrassed being pulled out of class for special attention and was even in a remedial English class for two years with the "dummies". As a talented athlete, James just wanted to fit in and hang out with his buddies. However, he was constantly teased and harassed as "the stupid kid who couldn't read". When James got to high school he had enough. Against his mother's advice, he stopped going to tutoring and was happy with his Cs and Ds in class as long as he qualified for football.

The minute he got his high school diploma, he moved in with his dad who had divorced his mom years earlier and now lived in another state. James attended the local Vocational College and got his AA degree, while also taking classes in plumbing. After he passed his Apprenticeship and was licensed as a Journey-man Plumber, he joined his dad in the family plumbing business. He was so successful that he took over the business completely when his dad retired. Now James is a wealthy businessman who is the President of the Chamber of Commerce and a pillar of the community. The whole "dyslexia" business was just a bad dream.

All that changed when he had his own three children. Priscilla, his first child, was his princess; perfect in every way. But then his wife had identical twin boys, Tom and Ted. From Day One, they were a totally different story. As babies, they were constantly active and busy into everything. They could easily become distracted and frustrated at a moment's notice. When they both started kindergarden at age 5, it was clear that something was wrong. For instance, while they seemed to learn things quickly, they had real problems with speech and language.

Although they often communicated to each other in "twin-speak", they would mispronounce common words or mix up the sounds in a word when talking to others. Simple cognitive tasks like learning the alphabet, playing rhyming games, and matching sounds to invididual letters were very difficult for them. Reading simple one syllable sight words became huge hurdles, so they often guessed at what they didn't know. Their primary teacher immediately asked to do a series of tests on both boys to explore these issues further. James' wife thought it was a good idea, but James quickly put his foot down. No one, but no one, was going to tell him that there was something wrong with his boys. They were just late bloomers and would be fine. Everyone just needed to stop panicking and leave the boys alone.

Tom and Ted's teachers respected James' wishes and monitored the twins carefully through First and Second Grade. But by Third Grade, it was clear something was not right and needed to be addressed as soon as possible. Both the educators and the boys' mother were ready to go ahead with the diagnostic testing. But, James had a fit. Why couldn't people understand that the boys were just fine? Sure, they were a little delayed, but they were like their father. Stop stressing about all of this--they had plenty of time to catch up and make good grades. All of this pressure was just making it worse.

In response, the boys' teachers just sighed and shook their heads. They kept putting notes in Tom and Ted's academic files every year, as no one honestly knew what else to do. Meanwhile, the boys' behavior got worse and worse in class while they fell further and further behind academically. They became known as the "Terrible Twos". James just kept insisting that "Boys will be boys" or that it was bad teaching. Was he right? Or, was he making a huge mistake that could change his sons' future forever?

Tips and Tricks
Tips and Tricks


Tip #1: Who are My Tribe?*


Everyone is part of a community. In fact, whether you know it or not--you're probably a member of one type of community right now. Most people think of your community as your family, your work peers, or your neighborhood How-ever, it can be much wider than that. For example, a some people describe a very special, specific part of your community as "your soul family" (Clarity on Fire, 2023).











volunteering to fund a program for rural widows and re-open the hospital + better technology


Note: During my initial research for this blog, I found that some people may be uncomfortable using the term "tribe" to describe the people closest to you. Consequently, if anyone reading this Blog interprets my language as being insensitive or disrespectful, I apologize. They may choose to use the word "community" instead.












Tip #2: Each One Teach One


One theme that is inter-woven throughout all of these Blogs and Podcasts is the importance of education. You can never, never, never know too much about invisible disabilities in general--or your own unique strengths and issues.






worked with an Apprentice who had dyslexia




Tip #3: Where Do I Start?


"“Not only do you get the gratification of doing your part to make the world a better place, but you could find yourself serving wonderful people and meeting other volunteers with similar passions,” says Dr. Howes. Love animals? Search for shelters in your area that could use some help. Want to spend more time outdoors? Look for park cleanup events happening near you. In fact, one study suggested that widowed adults 51 and older who volunteered for two or more hours a week felt less lonely. Yeah, this is very specific, but you get the point.

FYI, if volunteering isn’t your jam, you can send a friend coffee money or give your cousin some clothes you’re ready to part with. Doing something (anything) nice for someone else fosters connection that'll make you feel seen." Brodsky (2024).









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