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Podcast #29: What Can You Give Back?

Writer: Lynda Price
Lynda Price
Aug 25, 2024
29 min read

Updated: 3 days ago




Are you in a rut? Feel isolated and lonely? Want to be around people who really accept your invisible disability? It's time to move forward and give something back to your community. Here's how to do it......



The Importance of Community Service


We've spent a lot of time in these podcasts and blogs zeroing in on you. That made sense as it was important to give you the most credible, up-to-date information about your invisible disability--both its challenges and its rewards. But, that's not the whole story. To fully understand living with LD, dyslexia, and ADHD, we need to pull back and broaden the focus. We need to see the bigger picture that involves the community around you.

That's true whether you live in New York City or rural Australia; you are directly connected and interact daily with a huge network. Think about all of the people around you--the bus driver who takes you to work, the neighbor who gets your mail when you travel, the teller at the bank who cashes your check, or the people on Facebook that you talk to everyday. All of these people and many more are your community, whether you know it or not. And all of these people shape your life in countless ways. Perhaps, John Donne in 1624 said it best: "No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main . . . any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee" (No Sweat Shakespeare, 2026). While most people are familiar with this quote, it has a deeper meaning for you if you have a hidden disability.

As someone with an often invisible disability, you may spend your whole life trying to be "normal" or to fit in with others. Sometimes you're successful and sometimes your not. But the bigger social, political, vocational, or financial connections outside of yourself are often your biggest challenges. So, if you really want to "fit in" as an adult, you need to look beyond yourself to the community around you. You need to understand that you are just not an "island", but part of a much bigger, vibrant, growing continent.



Definition and Benefits

If you want to move beyond your limited social circle, start by figuring out exactly who your "community" is. For instance, a community can be who you interact with in your daily life. This could be your work peers, your neighbor-hood, or someone you follow online. You may be directly connected to these individuals because you share a common geography, interests, values, and/or life situations. But whoever composes your community, they will give you a sense of belonging and support. If you're lucky enough to be part of such a group, it's time for you to pay back some of the kindness, help and strength that they've given you all these years.

The benefits for this payback are enormous. For instance, researchers have asserted such amazing physical benefits as: lower blood pressure, a healthier immune system, a longer lifespan and less overall stress(University of Alabama, 2024). In addition, a clinical psychologist says, “Giving back has been shown to boost happiness, reduce stress, enhance self-esteem and strengthen social connections. Engaging in acts of generosity activates the brain’s reward system, fostering positive emotions and a sense of purpose” (Lopez, 2023; University of Alabama, 2024). Multiple researchers have described this unique phenomena as a "Helpers High". Parker (2021) explains that: "As you help someone . . . your brain secretes 'feel good' chemicals such as: Serotonin (which regulates your mood); Dopamine (which gives you a sense of pleasure); [and] Oxytocin (which creates a sense of connection with others)." Now that's quite a cocktail! So, if you want something that doesn't cost a thing, is legal, is available in your own neighborhood, and is totally drug-free, read on.....



Isolation, Loneliness and Invisible Disabilities


I've wanted to do this podcast for a long time because there's one trend that I've seen over and over in my conversations with folks with LD, dyslexia, and ADHD: social isolation and loneliness (Gerber, Price, & Patton, 2006; Price, 2000; Price & Gerber, 2009; Price & Patton, 2008). It's interesting to note that what we observed has been echoed by other researchers around the world for over five decades (Broadbent, 2017; Childers, 2025; Gerber, 2025; Kwan, Gitimog-haddam, Collet, 2020; Musetti, Eboli, Cavallini, Corsano, 2019; Margalit, 1998; mencamp,2026; Northern Healthcare, 2026; Romanszkan, 2025). For example, scholars at Brown University (Siliezar, 2025) found that over 70% of American adults with disabilities* reported an ongoing sense of severe loneliness in their everyday lives. As Salinger (2025) explained, "This population may be predisposed to loneliness, since disability is the byproduct of social and structural barriers that restrict access to full societal participation." Other disturbing statistics from the United Kingdom echo this concern. The professionals from Sense (2022) report that: "Almost two thirds (61%) of disabled people* are now chronically lonely, rising to 7 in 10 (70%) of young disabled people [in the UK] . . . [In addition], over two thirds (70%) of disabled people say their mental health is affected by social isolation".

As these researchers clearly note, such severe isolation and loneliness can have a major, negative impact on these adults' both physical and mental health. For instance, numerous studies have found that isolation and loneliness can contribute to all kinds of health problems, including raising your risk for pre-mature death to levels similar to smoking or obesity (Kwan , Gitimoghaddam, & Collet, 2020; ADD CITATIONS). Feeling isolated can also trigger high levels of negative stress hormones and systemic inflammation, which may result later in severe damage to one's cardiovascular, immune, and/or neurological systems CITATIONS .

But, the negative consequences of isolation and loneliness don't just stop there (Gov.UK; 2025). In general, they contribute to such psychiatric disorders as depression, alcohol abuse, child abuse, sleep problems, personality disorders and Alzheimer’s disease (Mushtaq, Shoib, Shah, & Mushtaq; 2014). Specifically, people with invisible disabilities often feel more anxiety, stress, depression, isolation and loneliness, as they simultaneously struggle with their invisible disability (ADD CITATIONS). In fact, this struggle can be so overwhelming that such isolation and loneliness may end in suicide. Professionals from the UK and Netherlands looked at the records of more than 900 people who committed suicide between 2012 and 2021. Of 927 Dutch euthanasia cases, 39 individuals had autism and or a learning disability. Twenty-one percent of these people said that factors linked to their invisible disabilities were the reason they took their own lives (Dale, 2023).

Rees(2024) gives these all of these numbers a human face when she says, "I’ve noticed that so often people with dyslexia sit on the periphery and feel more. Isolated.They are lone wolves. They feel like don’t fit in. They feel like they can’t find their tribe. They find it difficult to maintain friendships. They people please in the hope of fitting in."

Lucky-Inevitable-146* echoes: "I’ve let go of a lot of friendships because most of the time I don’t know when I’ll function well, when I won’t function at all. I can’t really make plans in advance either . . . I find that people don’t really understand mental struggles we go through. Sometimes I also feel dumb when I’m around people. My brain stops working when I’m stimulated and mid- conversation I’ll look at them and have no idea what we’re talking about. Or I’ll say something, and then realize I have no idea what I’ve just said . . . it’s so embarrassing and it makes me not want to hang out with people outside my home. I also have ADHD, which is making things 10x harder" (reddit, 2025).

In fact, this phenemona is so wide-spread among folks with ADHD that it even has its own name: rejection sensitive dysphoria or RSD (Childers, 2025; Romanszkan, 2025). As Romanszkan explains, "If you have some symptoms of RSD, you may subconsciously try to avoid situations where rejection can happen — like meeting new people. That often leads to isolating yourself."

This is true for many other disabilities as well. For example, Rachel is an adult with Crohn’s disease (Deaton, 2026). She disclosed that because of her invisible disability, she rarely told others the severity of her physical symptoms. As a result, this only exponentially increased her anxiety, loneliness, and isolation: “Every single day is different with a chronic illness and a disability that people can’t see. I find myself trying to downplay my symptoms because I feel guilty for canceling plans or missing work because they are so bad.” Another adult, John with a visual impairment, summarizes this phenomena well: “Having a disability can leave me feeling very isolated, like the world isn’t made for me and I am alien to it" (Deaton, 2026).

It should also be noted that such an on-going sense of isolation or loneliness

may not always be true for everyone who has a disability. Some folks are able to find their own community, who then can surround them with the love and support that they need. As mxster982 says, " . . . the friend group I have is determined to not let me isolate. Two of my cousins check in regularly, my mom freaks if I go even two days without texting or calling her, and even my dad will have a conniption if I don’t talk to him regularly. It’s weird bc at 36, I’ve never felt more accepted than I do now (reddit, 2025).

If you're in this group--bravo for you! If you're not, then it's time to move forward in your life to reach outside of the disability box that keeps you isolated and lonely. Either way, you'll soon find that community service, in any form, can change your life in healthy, positive ways. This blog is full of useful ideas to help you do just that.


*Caveat: As I was writing this Blog, I was surprised to find that most of the research primarily focused on visible disabilities, with much less information describing invisible disabilities. However, adults with LD or dyslexia often voiced these same patterns and concerns to me over the years. So, if you know of any current studies in this area, please let me know at pricela33@gmail.com.






SCENARIOS
SCENARIOS

There's all kinds of isolation that can go hand-in-hand with loneliness. For instance, there's geographic isolation; you can feel totally alone in the middle of a big city or completely by yourself way out in the middle of nowhere. There's social isolation where you choose--or don't choose--to be totally by yourself all of the time. There's internal isolation, where you're in your own head way too much and rarely open up to new ideas, people, places, or things. Your isolation may not be my isolation, but whatever it is--it will shape your life in countless ways, either for better or worse. These scenarios illustrate that well.



Scenario A


Emily is a widow living in up-state Vermont. She is trying her best to run a farm alone which has been in her family for over 100 years. Emily still sleeps in the same bedroom where she slept with her husband Sam for 35 years until he passed away two years ago from liver cancer. While she and Sam never had children, they adopted two kids and raised them on the farm. But, neither child liked rural living and moved away as soon as possible. Subsequently, their son David was homeless and continued to bounce in and out of drug treatment. Their daughter Alicia moved to France. She's never returned to visit America, but she sends her mother a nice box of chocolates every year. Emily also had two brothers and a sister, all who now have died. Her only relative left is her cousin George, who always helps her read all important papers and keep financial records about the business. This is really important, as Emily was diagnosed with learning disabilities in the third grade and still has major problems with reading, math, and organization.

Sam was Emily's lifeblood; he managed the farm and took care of Emily every way he could. But, times were tough keeping the farm going and Sam's medical bills kept mounting. He finally told her that they either had to sell the dairy business and most of the land or declare bankruptcy and move to town. As they both loved rural living so much, they sold everything but kept the house and enough land for a small apple farm. Life after Same can be tough. Even though Emily still has lots of trouble reading and writing, she loves working with her hands and fixing things. She pretty good at taking care of herself, as she grew up on the farm and knows how to be independent. But, now that Sam is gone, it's the isolation and loneliness that is getting to her.

She is just so tired all of the time and overwhelmed trying to support herself, run the farm, and take care of her high blood pressure. For instance, going anyplace just to get groceries or supplies is often a twenty mile trip or more. Winter comes early in Vermont; she can easily be house-bound. If the driveway isn't continually plowed or the local road is snowed in during the Winter or flooded in the Spring, it's almost impossible to go to church in town or be able to visit her friends.

Also, Emily really misses Sam and finds herself being angry and bitter. She is continually brooding that so little health care was available to keep him alive with her. For instance, Sam had a great oncologist, but he closed his practice and retired to California. It took almost a year to find a new doctor. Meanwhile, Sam's cancer got worse and worse. When they were finally able to get him in for radiation, their local hospital closed and they had to drive two hours one way just to get him treatment. In addition, there was little hope of a transplant or cutting-edge medical care, so Sam just slowly and painfully wasted away.

Emily's roots are deep and she loves where she has lived all of her life. But, she spends a lot of time during the long winter nights wondering if all this is still worth it. Farming now barely pays the bills and she hates being so isolated and alone all of the time. She gets so depressed wondering what's going to happen next. Is there a future for a widow living by herself at the end of the earth?



Scenario B


James has always hated the word dyslexia. His mother, Jessica was a Special Education teacher at the local middle school and was continually talking about her students. As a single parent, she monitored everything he did. So when he started having reading problems in the Second Grade, she immediately referred him for an evaluation. James never forgot all of the testing and anxiety he had to go through. When he was given a final diagnosis for dyslexia, his mom went to work immediately making sure that he got weekly tutoring for reading and writing at school and private tutoring as needed on weekends. This pattern became a way of life for him throughout elementary and middle school.

James hated every minute of the tutoring. He was always embarrassed being pulled out of class for special attention and was even in a remedial English class for two years with the "dummies". As a talented athlete, James just wanted to fit in and hang out with his buddies. However, he was constantly teased and harassed as "the stupid kid who couldn't read". When James got to high school he had enough. Against his mother's advice, he stopped going to tutoring and was happy with his Cs and Ds in class as long as he qualified for football.

The minute he got his high school diploma, he moved in with his dad who had divorced his mom years earlier and now lived in another state. James attended the local Vocational College and got his AA degree, while also taking multiple classes in plumbing. After he passed his Apprenticeship and was licensed as a Journeyman Plumber, he joined his dad in the family plumbing business. He was so successful that he took over the business completely when his dad retired. Now James is a wealthy businessman who is the President of the local Chamber of Commerce and a pillar of the community. The whole "dyslexia" business has become just a bad dream.

All that changed when he had his own three children. Priscilla, his first child, was his princess; perfect in every way. But then his wife had identical twin boys, Tom and Ted. From Day One, they were a totally different story. As babies, they were constantly active and busy into everything. They could easily become distracted and frustrated at a moment's notice. When they both started kindergarten at age 5, it was clear that something was wrong.

For instance, while they seemed to learn things quickly, they had ongoing problems with speech and language. Although they often communicated to each other in "twin-speak", they would mispronounce common words or mix up the sounds in a word when talking to others. Simple cognitive tasks like learning the alphabet, playing rhyming games, and matching sounds to invididual letters were very difficult for them. Reading simple one syllable sight words became huge hurdles, so they often guessed at what they didn't know. Their primary teacher immediately asked to do a series of tests on both boys to explore these issues further. James' wife thought it was a good idea, but James quickly put his foot down. No one, but no one, was going to tell him that there was something wrong with his boys. They were just late bloomers and would be fine. Everyone needed to stop panicking and leave the boys alone.

Tom and Ted's teachers respected James' wishes and monitored the twins carefully through First and Second Grade. But by the Third Grade, it was clear something was not right and needed to be addressed as soon as possible. Both the educators and the boys' mother were ready to go ahead with the diagnostic testing. But, James had a fit. Why couldn't people understand that the boys were just fine? Sure, they were a little delayed, but they were like their father who just grew out of it. Stop stressing about all of this--they had plenty of time to catch up and make good grades. All of this pressure was making it worse.

In response, the boys' teachers just sighed and shook their heads. They kept putting notes in Tom and Ted's academic files every year, as no one honestly knew what else to do. Meanwhile, the boys' behavior got worse and worse in class as they fell further and further behind academically. They became known as the "Terrible Twosome". James just kept insisting that "Boys will be boys" or "it's just bad teaching". Was he right? Or, was he making a huge mistake that could change his sons' future forever?

Tips and Tricks
Tips and Tricks


Tip #1: Who are My Tribe*?


Everyone is part of a community. In fact, whether you know it or not--you're probably a member of one type of community right now. Most people think of your immediate community as your family or your colleagues at work. But it can be much wider than that. For example, some people describe a very special part of your community as "your soul family" (Clarity on Fire, 2023). Other words can be used, but the one that describes it best for me is "tribe"*. Koin (2025) defines your tribe as: " . . . people who feel like home. People who get us. People who belong to us; and us to them . . . From social cliques and sports teams to fraternities, fan clubs, and the strange little corners of the internet we call 'communities,' we’re always looking for people who feel like home."

Why is this so important in the 21st Century? Because right now, it seems that we have a widespread plague of loneliness. For example, the U.S. Surgeon General released a report after the pandemic stating 50% of Americans--or half of the total United States' population--are lonely (Wolfson, 2025).

Digging down, we can find many factors that feed this sense of isolation. For instance, research over the last 10 years has shown that we’re spending less time with friends and family and volunteering much less in our own community. Also, Americans in general live farther away from their families, have fewer children, have a higher divorce rate, and marry less often (Wolfson, 2025 FINISH). As Wolfson (2025) observes: "The modern problem is that, even surrounded by millions of people, we can still feel profoundly alone. We live in neighborhoods but not in communities. We scroll endlessly through this feed or that. And these are supposed to connect us? But most of the time they just remind us we’re on the outside looking in." (Wolfson, 2025).

As I've discussed previously, this can be especially critical for people with invisible disabilities. They are often at special risk to feel isolated and lonely. For example, constantly trying to pass and be "normal" in a complex, incredibly fast-changing world can create tremendous stress and anxiety. People with LD, dyslexia, and/or ADHD are endlessly trying to translate and then meet all of the hidden expectations around them. They frequently find themselves constantly facing new barriers and hurdles in multiple ways in different environments. These hurdles may seem big or little, but they just keep coming. And, the frustration, anger, stress, and loneliness just keeps growing day-by-day.

Emily's story in Scenario A illustrates this well.She has always been a strong, independent woman could thrive in a very isolated area. She did this with the help of her husband and her cousin George. Overall, Emily was able to build a satisfying quality of life despite the hardships of living on a farm in a remote, rural area. But things change--just as life changes.

Emily no longer saw her children and her siblings had all passed away. Sam's cancer, and his continual lack of treatment or support over the years, left Emily exhausted, penniless, lonely, and forgotten. She felt too broken to cope with her daily life and her only companions seemed to be depression, grief, & bitterness. One day, she was having a video chat with her best friend, Betty. Betty, who had known Emily since grade school, said frankly, "You look terrible and you sound worse. I'm worried about you out there all by yourself since Sam passed away. You don't even seem like yourself anymore . ."

Emily just smiled sadly and agreed. It's true that since Sam's death all of these doors seemed to be closing in her life, with little to look forward to. She honestly didn't know what to do next or how to dig herself out of this hole that threatened to engulf her. In desperation, Betty suggested that she talk to her Aunt Abby who was widowed five years ago. When Betty first talked to her Aunt after her Uncle's car accident, she sounded just like Emily. Something, however, had changed for Abby. Maybe, whatever it was would work for Emily too.

Emily gathered her courage and called Abby the following week. She was surprised to find Abby warm and welcoming. She was so easy to talk to and they really had a lot in common. They soon made plans to talk twice a week and then started meeting for lunch on a regular basis. Emily couldn't get over how much better she felt after her conversations with Abby. She knew that Abby understood exactly what she was going through.

After a few months, Abby suggested that she might want to meet more people who were also widows and widowers. For the past two years, Abby had been very active in a local support group at her church. It had helped her so much that she thought Emily might enjoy attending (Grief Share, 2026). Emily was surprised to discover that this volunteer group met weekly in the small town where she got her groceries! So once a week, Emily started making the long trip to attend this meeting. When the roads got bad, she stayed overnight with Betty. These trips really opened new doors in her life. In fact, it was during one of these trips that some wonderful things started happening.

First, Emily's life got so much better that she sought training to become a co-leader for a second grief support group. However, because of her LD, she still had difficulty reading all of the materials, along with all of the writing and organization. Abby immediately agreed to read everything to Emily and help her with any necessary paperwork. Emily was scared to try, but she crossed her fingers and went ahead with the training.

Second, her work with the support group opened her eyes to many others who had lost critical medical care or loved ones in their community. Exploring the problems of rural health care raised a lot of disturbing questions for her. For instance, she found that the American Medical Association said:" . . . the age-adjusted death rate in rural America [is] 20% higher than that in urban centers" (Scott, 2024). Unfortunately, this sounded very familiar.

She and Abby decided to start a new GoFundMe account in Sam's name to address these pressing issues. They hoped to fund widespread use of new technology, such as Telehealth and Remote Monitoring. Their dream was to create a rural outreach clinic in their community with a mobile medical van. By pulling together multiple local, regional, and state resources to make their dream happen, Emily's world opened up even further. She soon realized that she just didn't have time to be lonely or isolated anymore. Instead, Sam was still with her--but so were lots of other great people as well.

Emily found her tribe--how can you find yours? Here's a few tips to get you started:

  • Start easy; with genuine, simple questions and conversations about a shared interest with individuals or a group

  • Invest the time to find out if you really are connected (e.g., see each other frequently or on a regular basis instead of making a snap judgement)

  • Go beyond common interests to see if your values, beliefs, and view of the world match each other

  • Try talking to people who differ from you in age, socioeconomic group, culture, or race (i.e., they don't necessarily have to be raised in the same way you were, come from you home town, etc.)

  • It's OK to find folks who don't always agree with you, but will still care about you and show it in many ways

  • We don't all have to have a "life-long group of BFFs" (e.g., your life can change and some people will come or go in your life . . .)

  • Have the courage to be honest and be exactly who you really are (i.e., don't hide behind a social media profile--be you, warts and all)

  • It's OK to be vulnerable in your group (e.g., if you can share both the good times and bad ones with your tribe, you've found a home).


Just keep in mind that not everyone or every group will fit into these new, different criteria, but those who do will enrich your life for years to come (Clarity On Fire; 2023; Koin, 2025; Walker, 2021).


*Note: As I explored the idea of community in the professional literature, I found that some people might be uncomfortable using the term "tribe" to describe the individuals closest to you. If anyone sees my use of this word as being insensitive or disrespectful, I truly apologize. Please substitute the word "community" instead, wherever you wish.













Tip #2: Each One Teach One


One theme that is inter-woven throughout all of these Blogs and Podcasts is the importance of education. You can never, never, never know too much about invisible disabilities in general--or your own unique strengths and issues. I've found that writing this Blog and creating these Podcasts are like assembling the pieces of a big, beautiful puzzle--your life as a person with an invisible disability. As we put each piece together, we start to reveal an amazing portrait of YOU--with one important stipulation. The key piece that holds all of the other pieces together is self-knowledge and understanding about your own disability.

In my experience, this soon becomes a life-long process for many adults (Alvarez, 2026; Elleseff, 2026; Help Guide, 2026; Kushnir, 2026; Moser, 2026; Psychologytown, 2025). For instance, as people with invisible disabilities gain new insights about themselves, some may react with joy or an affirming sense of happiness and completion. Other individuals become shocked, confused, or angry as they face new information that they never considered before. And, still others go totally into denial and think: "This isn't about me" or "What do they know? I'm not like that at all".

It's important to also remember that there is no timeline for this new growth and expansion of your world. Some folks get it right away with a sense of relief. Others continue to struggle in denial and refuse to acknowledge that anything about dyslexia or LD apply to them. Remember, you can't fully grow or change until you accept the fact that you have a disability. This disability may often be invisible to others--but it's still a powerful force that can shape your life and those around you on a daily basis.

Such new growth can have a very positive ending. Just look what happened to James in Scenario B. He had learned the hard way that he definitely wanted nothing to do with dyslexia or disabilities. Despite all of the personalized tutors, feedback, discussions, meetings, and special reading classes, James still didn't have the foggiest idea what dyslexia was. In fact, his own personal experience taught him one tough lesson--forget dyslexia and leave it alone. When James ran into problems or difficulties, he always took care of it himself--with no help from anyone else, thank you very much.

However, the whole "dyslexia" thing came roaring back into his life when his sons were born. James soon realized that they were mirror images of himself as a child. They too were smart, impetuous, full of life, easily distracted, and totally bored by academics. He had horrible memories of his mom forcing him to work with a speech/language therapist and making him spend hours going over and over phonics and reading activities. It seemed like his whole childhood and adolescence were focused on fixing what was "wrong" with him. No one was ever satisfied, especially his single mother--the Special Educator. As much as he loved his boys, James was not about to do that again to Tom and Ted. So he resisted everything and everyone who tried to tell him what was wrong with his precious sons.

Nevertheless, all this changed again when Xavier entered his life. Xavier was an 18 year old Plumbing Apprentice. He had been sent to work with James' company through a paid, on-the-job training program from the Community College. He seemed like such a nice guy, but his work performance was totally another issue. It didn't take long for Harold, Xavier's Supervisor, to grab James in the hall and demand that they"get rid of this guy".

During their meeting, Harold told James that he had never met a more charming, motivated kid who "just didn't get it". Xavier was a mess on the job. He couldn't remember anything or follow directions, especially when they were more than one step at a time. He couldn't understand written schedules or meet deadlines and was often unable to read written materials. Few of his reports or emails made any sense because his grammar and spelling were so poor. Clearly, he was struggling in such a fast-paced environment where he could be sent out on multiple calls in one day.

But then, there was the other side of Xavier. He was smart and articulate when working with customers and his peers. He had this amazing talent to grasp the whole picture of a job once it was verbally explained to him. He was a great problem-solver and cheerfully tackled any complex problem thrown his way. Additionally, he tried to complete all of his assignments and was really liked by his co-workers. Clearly, no one wanted to let Xavier go, especially since he was trying so hard to get his Apprenticeship License. But, they were running out of options--and customers.

Xavier was such a puzzle to James and Harold that they decided to call the the Community College Apprenticeship program for advice. Mr. Hebert, the Program Chair, called back immediately and then came for a follow-up meeting. He started the conversation by sharing that he had Xavier's permission to let them know that he had dyslexia. While he had been receiving accommodations at the college for his disability, he really wanted to try this new job out on his own without any help from anybody. In addition, Xavier was supporting his mother, grandmother, and two siblings so this new opportunity was very important to him. Despite all of that, some things needed to be changed right away. Mr. Hebert stressed that it was time to bring in various accommodations to address Xavier's dyslexia as soon as possible.

James and Harold just looked at each other. They didn't have the faintest idea what Mr. Hebert was talking about. Dyslexia was something that happened to school age children, right? It had to do with reading-- and not being very smart in the first place. How did that apply to a sharp, motivated guy like Xavier? And--what about all of these accommodations? Both James and Harold had very tight budgets. They couldn't imagine how much all of this was going to cost to fix one potential employee. The more they heard, the more worried and upset they became. Since they were so confused, a second meeting was set up with Arlene, the Disability Specialist from the College.

Arlene came right to the point. She started by reassuring James and Harold that there were a lot of positive things they could do that wouldn't cost the company either a lot of time or money. Then, she explained in simple terms exactly what dyslexia was and how it impacted the workplace.

She said that dyslexia is a reading and learning disorder. Adults often have problems identifying speech sounds and decoding letters and words. They also have trouble with spelling and writing, along with organizational and memory problems. They can easily misunderstand verbal instructions or forget critical information at work (JAN, 2026). To illustrate LD, she gave them this to read:


"Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deson’t mttaer in waht

oredr the ltteers in a wrod are. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter

by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe."


She said this is how someone with dyslexia might read these sentences due to their invisible disability. Next, she translated it for them:

"According to research at an English university, it doesn’t matter in what

order the letters in a word are. This is because we do not read every letter

by itself, but the word as a whole.'"

(Minnesota Neuropsychology; 2023)

James and Harold were shocked. They asked Arlene about the stress and frustration they felt over reading just two sentences. Does this happen to Xavier all of the time? If so, how can he cope with it? Arlene emphasized that Xavier was an intelligent person who was just overwhelmed in a confusing, new environment. That's why the accommodations were so important. They could make a major difference for everyone.

She talked about his issues on the job and suggested a number of of adjustments that they could make right away:

  • Use his I-Pad with a dictation function to write any necessary reports or emails (To correct his various grammar and spelling errors)

  • Use speech-to-text software (If he can't read written materials)

  • Get a phone app reminder (Help with written schedules & meet deadlines)

  • Create a new checklist to specifically list what should be accomplished during and after each appointment (To help organizational skills and accomplish goals)

  • Make sure that everything was written down as well as communicated verbally (Assist him to remember and follow directions, especially when they were instructions that had more than one step at a time)

  • Set up on-site job coaching/job shadowing with Arlene if needed (Fine tune specific accommodations and address individual issues)

  • Always provide specific, frequent feedback as needed

  • Team with Arlene to have regular follow-up for any problems or concerns


Each of these accommodations used materials that were already available to Xavier, so they should cause little disruption on the job. Also, everything was free, except for a subscription for some speech-to-text software (JAN, 2026). That cost less than $20 a month and Xavier was paying for it himself.

This news was a revelation for Harold and James. Nobody was guaranteeing that all of this would be an easy fix. However, with Arlene's help, they sure had a lot of new options to choose from. The best part was that they wouldn't have to pay a lot or make any major changes in the workplace. Harold immediately set up another on-site visit with Arlene to get things started. On the other hand, James had even more to think about. Talking about all of these ideas made his uncomfortably aware of his own two sons. Was this what was going to happen with Tom and Ted? Both boys sure sounded like Xavier in lots of ways.

James had just assumed that the boys were going through a rough patch at school and would grow out of their academic and behavioral problems. When they were old enough, they could just take over the family plumbing business. But, what if they still couldn't read or write? What if they couldn't pay attention to money or all of the myrid decisions and details it took to run a successful company? What if they didn't know how to set goals or find creative strategies and stick to them? These questions, and many more, started keeping James awake at night. He tried to talk to his wife about them, but she just sighed and poured him another cup of coffee.

James became so disturbed that he contacted Arlene again. He talked about his sons and finally confessed his own anger and frustration about being labeled "dyslexic". He admitted how much he hated all of the craziness that went with his disability and how he finally rebelled from it all. He had struggled constantly by himself. He had made it, couldn't his boys do the same thing? Arlene gently explained that it wasn't that simple. Ted and Tom were their own individuals, with their own unique strengths and issues. No two people with dyslexia were alike--or faced the same hurdles and problems in life in the same way. Plus, unfortunately the statistics spoke for themselves. ADD STATS HERE....

As James heard all of this, he was shaken to his core. Could Arlene be describing his boys? Sure, he had learned from hard experience how to compensate for his dyslexia, but could Tom and Ted do the same? Of equal importance, was he keeping them from the very thing that could make them successful and happy adults? He was too stubborn to admit that he was wrong, but could he gamble with his sons' future just to prove he was right? Would they be like him? Or, become like Xavier and get fired if they didn't receive any accommodations? James had some heavy soul-searching to do--and he knew it. He finally asked Arlene what came next.

Arlene suggested that he talk all of this over with his wife. She also gave him materials to read about dyslexia, along with information about a parent support group for students with various disabilities. After a lot of emotional discussions, James and his wife called the school and asked that the boys be tested. The results revealed that both Tom and Ted had dyslexia and ADHD. Individual Educational Plans were written for each student, along with extensive support through tutoring and various accommodations. James' wife became very active in the parent support group and was a volunteer advocate for two families in a similar situation. Both boys showed improvement in academics and behavior.

But, the changes didn't stop there. James took a personal interest in Xavier to make sure that he got all of the support he needed on the job. After 4 years as a Plumber Apprentice with the company, Xavier was so successful that James wrote a glowing letter to the Union recommending he be promoted and take the Journeyman Plumber exam. James also bought him a new I-Pad when his old one died and covered the cost of new speech-to-text software. Surprisingly, James became a popular speaker when the Union asked him to explain to other employers about dyslexia and how to cope with it on the job. He truly never dreamed that he would educate others about dyslexia instead of avoiding the subject. But when Xavier's mom sent a delicious pecan pie every month as a thank-you gift, it reminded him how his life had truly changed for the better.






Tip #3: Where Do I Start?


Are you like like Emily; lonely and isolated? Or, like James, and spend your life denying that you have a problem? You've seen in Scenarios A and B how much your life can change for the better when you move beyond the boundaries of your invisible disability into the wider world around you. Community service can truly unlock new doors and opportunities to experiences that you didn't even know existed before.




"“Not only do you get the gratification of doing your part to make the world a better place, but you could find yourself serving wonderful people and meeting other volunteers with similar passions,” says Dr. Howes. Love animals? Search for shelters in your area that could use some help. Want to spend more time outdoors? Look for park cleanup events happening near you. In fact, one study suggested that widowed adults 51 and older who volunteered for two or more hours a week felt less lonely. Yeah, this is very specific, but you get the point.

FYI, if volunteering isn’t your jam, you can send a friend coffee money or give your cousin some clothes you’re ready to part with. Doing something (anything) nice for someone else fosters connection that'll make you feel seen." Brodsky (2024).









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